Trepidation
by xXPoisonous-SoulXx
Summary: Torn apart by this reaccuring nightmare, what can the young Phantomhive do? He is slowly drifting further away from his faithful butler, and can no longer focus on the real. He dreads the night when he must sleep, for it'll visit once again. - Discontinued


_I've collapsed in a dark room, and everything might as well be invisible; I can make out no definite objects. My eyes begin to deceive me as various shapes begin to form, all of them blood-thirsty and murderous. I struggle to get away from it all, only to find my wrists heavily bound above my head, and my feet strapped to the frosty ground. A cry nearly escapes from my lips, but I manage to fight it back. That's the moment when the real terror began._

_Icy fingers lace themselves around my throat, their grip tightening as seconds stretch on. Their nails soon dig in, drawing my blood. The scent becomes intoxicating as the liquid cascades down my neck, stopping only as it descends beneath my collar, soaking the frail fabric. My vision suddenly beings to haze and I soon find myself gazing into a pair of golden eyes, unable to look away. Fighting against the paralysis I relentlessly struggle, but it all leads to no avail. The pain crescendos until it's long past unbearable. Delirious laughter is the only thing that drowns out my cries._

When I wake I find myself entangled within my bed sheets, my head parallel with the ground. My panic has not yet subsided, and I glance at everything with a wild-eyed fear. My skin tingles from their lingering touch, and my heart beat won't calm. The familiar echo of footsteps sounds through the thin walls as they hastily find their way to my room. The door is forcefully swung open, leaving me with no opportunity to compose myself. My butler regards me, eyes heavy with worry, but he doesn't make any advancement forward. It's clear that he is fighting against his own will in order to stay still; the pain reflected within his crimson gaze is a rare sight, yet I know it all too well.

This very dream has been reoccurring for multiple nights, yet the pain of it all has not lessened since. The image still remains burnt within' my memories, even as minutes have passed. The familiar gleam of a menace's eyes, my death by their hand, my strength slowly leaving me...

"Bochan..." That one word snaps be back to reality, and I manage to quickly change my features to resemble an emotionless mask; the mask that knows nothing of joy, and strives solely for revenge. I hastily untangle myself, and quickly fall to my feet. Now collected, my gaze drifts to the dark figure in the entrance to my room, his expression a near mirror image of my own. The two of us are completely aware of what has passed, but both of us refuse to bring up the concept.

"Sebastian, brew some tea and bring it up to my room." Dusting myself off I retake a seat upon the unmade bed, refusing to make eye contact with my butler. With the curtains still closed my room is immersed in darkness, and it gives off the same eerie feeling as my dream. "On second thought, make that my study. I've had enough dawdling for this morning."

"Yes, my lord~" Sebastian knelt as he normally does in response to my orders. Without batting an eyelash, I make my way around my butler, only to find him barricading the exit. I glare down at the man, already tired of his pointless antics. "Excuse me, Bochan, but are you really going to wander around in your night attire?" The question itself seems harmless, but the butler is hiding a smile of amusement beneath a gloved hand. I cross my arms in an attempt to hide a steady growing blush.

"Very well." While Sebastian helps me change, I begin to realize how strong the terror has grown. I flinch away from my butler's familiar touch, unable to bear the contact between the two of us. Even his eyes remind me too much of those sordid gold ones. The intangible hunger hidden beneath bliss; I look away before I can see the mirror emotions in Sebastian's thoughts. That may be on his mind for all I know –we have a contract formed so that he may devour my soul after I complete my revenge.

The disgust that I feel towards my own butler cannot be expressed in any words, only actions. I race out of the room the very second the final string is tied. I allow myself one mere glimpse back, and the torment the presents itself upon the man's features is unlike any I've ever seen.

My footsteps echo as I race through the hallway, causing those useless servants of mine to peek and see what the commotion is about. I don't even bat an eyelash in their direct; they're not worth it. I finally stop running as I reach my secluded study, closing the door as quickly as a mad man. I hesitantly take a seat in the only chair that resides there, and I tilt back my head and cautiously close my eyes. Only than do I allow myself to think.

It's just a simple dream, no, something stronger than that. Even so I'm letting it conquer me; control me. I can't let the fear rule my actions, yet it's so difficult to fight... Sebastian is my loyal pawn, yet I'm now unable to face him without thinking of that mysterious figure. Will I lose myself in the conquest?

I need Sebastian in order to conquer my nightmare, yet I need to surpass my nightmare in order to reach him. 

**Disclaimer: The concept of Kuroshitsuji, and the characters Ciel and Sebastian belong to Yana Toboso.**

Author's Note: Primarily, this idea is copyrighted to me.  
This is a possible one shot, and I may not in the end continue this story. I just had an idea, and I wanted to attempt writing it down. That means I have only a few ideas for story and character progression.

I have a question to ask: should I continue this story?


End file.
